"If you are who you were yesterday, you do not deserve who you will be tomorrow."
Over the span of decades, centuries and even millennia; people have adapted key personalities. I'm not a tenure doctor, paid psych or professor but I do know the people who I've come in contact with. There is a thing in society, as I'm sure there has always been, where people cause negative ripples in time or positive ripples.
When you walk into a room, whether the people are wealthy in sharp, vivid colors or they are poor with dark dingy textures. One thing is for certain. People will influence you. You are free to roam the room, communicate with whomever you wish. It is your decision after all. However, in the end, you are not in control of anyone's personality or influence. Instead, everyone you come in contact has influence over you.
Immediately I'm sure you're thinking this idea sounds negative, as if people own and control you, when in reality it is far from that. If this seems negative, it must be that you realize most people are negative and when that whole room influences you, you will leave less of a person. Well, that portion could be very true. When you let everyone influence you, more often that not you will end up a more negative person. Instead, you should take pride in limiting who influences you. That's something we all want from life, to be a more of advanced person than the day before. To be richer, better looking, kinder, more thoughtful, increasingly empathetic and so on. Everyone has a different view on life and when you speak to a new person, sometimes, their views influences you to change. Is this for the better or the worse?
Let's say you walk into the same room again, instead of everyone wearing sharp vivid clothes or dingy wrags they are all naked and their hair all freshly washed with it's natural wavy, straight, or curly form. Everyone is even, everyone is normal, and face value is now pointless. Without having bias on people's appearance, what's left to determine if they are a positive or negative influence? The conversation. The first impression.
Within the first 30 seconds, to be honest, the first 10 seconds; you'll know. I've given pessimists, laggards and dreary eyed folks minutes and at times hours of my own time to hopefully learn something new and influential. Only to learn, that the first 10 seconds of our conversation warned me of their character in the moment. Momma always said, "First Impressions mean everything." Or was it daddy? Not sure, regardless it is still true. When you first meet someone, brand new and for the first time, they don't know if you are good or bad. If they have no idea who you are or where you are from, they will have a suprised look on their face. Their first impression will almost always show in it's purest most raw form of them as an individual whether it be Guarded, Positive, or Negative.
There are 3 types of influences, I strongly believe, you'll meet in the course of your lifetime. Positive, Negative, and Guarded. Imagine walking up to a confident, well dressed, hair parted, Burberry jacket wearing man with thin leather gloves on his hands. He'll take his right glove off, to shake your hand. He will make eye contact with you and exchange a confident smile that instills confidence in you by merely seeing it. Right off the bat, you know there are two possibilities. He could be influential in a positive way or he can be guarded, given the current stereotypes. He asks where you live, you say, "I'm rising up, from a bad side of town." The man shrugs his left shoulder and says, "Good for you, something to look forward to. Have a nice day." And he'll walk away. He went from Positive to Guarded.
Such a story was only said to draw attention to every single gesture, shake, nudge, or body movement someone can make when you meet them. First impressions aren't always everything though. However, if you're on the lookout for a positive influence, they will offer the influence within that first impression. Every single time I've tried giving someone knowledge, time or expertise in hopes it would better them - Was right off the cuff. After introducing myself and sometimes without, I would give information the moment I sensed it would be accepted. People who want to positively influence you, will try, you simply must be open to them.
Now I want you to place yourself at work. You're talking to what the whole company knows as the gabby gossip person. Right now their drama is forced upon you, just like the smoke from their cigarette, as you walk near where most employees take a quick break. This is ironic, your fellow employees come here for a break but as soon as you come over they start telling you about how horrible their life is going. They will not let you walk away or say a word until you confirm their life is horrible. Once you confirm their life is horrible, they tell you another story, to over emphasize their want and need for empathy. In reality, they could be subconsciously approaching you, specifically, for that positive influence. Or they could simply be spreading their negative influence without care or reason. Is this starting to make sense? Know when to assess Positive, Negative or Guarded Influences within the first 10 seconds - And I guarantee your life will become 10x easier and 10x less stressful.
With that being said, 9 out of 10 people, will not positively influence you. Do you know that girl at work, who's in an abusive relationship that loves to talk about it but never changes? That boss that yells intently and corrects the grammar of their employees? A receptionist at the DMV? What about a McDonalds manager? A drug dealer? A petty thief stealing from someone's pocket? There are a lot of people you will meet, come in contact with, and converse with who can and will influence you. The only difference between the strong people and the weak people, in my opinion, is that strong people know when to seek out the positive influences and block or defer the negative influences.
When you're walking down the street into a new bakery, you see people coming out smiling. Ding ding. Let me walk in and see what this new business is all about. Immediately you hear high pitch laughter and conversation in a almost palpable aromatic form. The cashier saw you walk in and immediately exchanges pleasantries and asks for your name. Ding ding. She has no reason to ask for your name, but you give it as she gives hers and explains what is coming out really well today. Instantly, you agree that it sounds fantastic to you and you'll have one. Ding Ding. Not only will you have one, but you'll grab an extra coffee for your friend you were just about to meet up with around the corner. Ding Ding. People are talking all around you and eventually you over-hear something funny that you have an opinion on, so given the great atmosphere, you step into the conversation and give your opinion. Everyone is still smiling, it's infectious. Ding ding. Someone gives you a business card for what you've been wanting to get done for a while now. Ding ding. Your items are ready, time to say goodbye and meet with your friend.
What just happened? Well, it doesn't seem like much of a negative influence or even anyone being guarded what so ever. Happiness, optimism, positivity and progressive people are infectious. They have a disease that we all secretly want to carry, forever. And we all can, we just need to be open to others when they show themselves. If this logic is really based on first impressions, what would you say about the story above? Ding ding! You're right, overwhelming by appearance it was positive. Not only was it positive, but since you embraced it, it was also progressive. You saw optimism, so you pursued it. Once you were in the moment, you embraced it be listening to the cashier. The cashier influenced what you were about to eat and drink even though you had no intention. Not only that, the cashier influenced your friend to now have a coffee this morning. Not only that, either! While waiting, you met someone who will fix a problem you've been having for a while. Now you're standing in front of your friend, smiling, with an extra coffee and great news about how you will be better tomorrow than you were yesterday. Life is progression, after all. Negative people and Guarded people don't tend to progress, making sense now?
First impressions do mean a lot, because everyone is secretly playing this game in their head. Some people, say a drug dealer, are looking for influential people also. For different reasons of course. They may want to expand, seek new connections or popular people with a network they can expand [leech] onto. A girl in an abusive relationship might be seeking a counselor or prescription for the boyfriend or just a reason to get out of the relationship. When they first meet you, guess what they want to see from you, in your first impression? They want to see, what they wish to see and what they are looking for themselves. What are you looking for?
With 9 out of 10 people being guarded or negative influences, it only makes sense that 9 out of 10 people are not looking for positive influences. This is because their mind is clouded, lost and not looking for optimism. Rather, they are looking for solutions to very small problems. Optimists and positive thinkers don't even worry about the small problems, they look to solve bigger problems with better ideas. Over time we evolved, survival of the fittest. The man or woman who saw a mountain and wondered, "What's on the other side. Can it be better? I'm going to try." Are the people who tend to survive. Not only do they survive, they progress. Not only do they progress, they become remembered in history for being progressive. Every step you take in life is to become better than you currently are. 1 out of 10 people have this eye for progression, only 1 in a room of 10 people.
When you're walking into a room of 10 people, the last thing you should do is presume who is a positive influence. You never know, no one could be. Or everyone could be. It's not a literal statistic, remember, I am not a professor. I am not a doctor. Nor, am I a psych with years of sociology training or know the intricately dynamic differences of the human mind. I've met people, I know people and I live to progress. To me, life is progression. At this time in my life I want to seek out other people who want to progress. That guy with a band, who wants to do things out of his normal city. The girl who is confused on if she should or shouldn't go to college. The artist with a beckoning want to be noticed and appreciated world wide. The teacher who wants to help the world read. The veterinarian who wants to cure canine cancer. I want to meet people, who want to progress. People who want what's better. People with positivity, optimism and influence. Positive influence. Impress me [first] with your positivity. Then I'll show you how to progress.
If you are who you were yesterday, you do not deserve who you will be tomorrow. This is because if you are who you were yesterday, you have already seen tomorrow. As who you were yesterday, is who you will be tomorrow. This is by meaning of your progression, not your character. I can only hope and wish your character stays consistent as you evolve. One of the worst things you can do in life, is to look back 10 years and ask yourself, "What's changed in 10 years?" The only possible thing worse than that question is having an answer of, "Nothing."
Now when you look around a room are you looking for people who are content, melancholy, wearing dark colors and talking about the past? Will you notice when someone speaks often about the future? How can you tell when people give you immediate answers to your current life's stresses? Is your ability to welcome change, progression and new knowledge on? It's not a matter of finding people who are positive, progressive and optimistic; it's a matter of seeing them when they are in front of you.
Remember, there is one thing to learn and that's to always be open to people whether they are Guarded, Negative or Positive Influences. Everyone, I mean everyone, is Positive at one point in time. Everyone can also be Negative given their own circumstances. And we all know, we've all been Guarded at one point in time as well. It's all about the first impression. Just because they are guarded right now, does not mean they will never positively progress or influence you positively. That, is a matter of time.
It's your job to understand when that one person comes along, who can change your life - You must let them. For the better.
Or for the worse.
Or for the better.
You decide.
With that being said, when was the last time you were positively influenced or someone helped you progress your life for the better?
